Since I can recall, I have only had one consistent passion; that's it, it was creating.
I would draw imaginative characters, make my own toys and only later until I went to art school it actually started to develop into an actual passion for Art in the most obvious sense.
Since then, I gave my life to art. Everything I've ever dreamt of was to become an artist. All my energy went towards creating new things and evolving my style, constantly experimenting with new tools and techniques. I had finally reached a point where I felt fullfilled and determined to continue the path.
At some point though, the passion started to become a full-time job. At first, I was excited by that and took every job opportunity that included some sort of creativity, because I felt that I was filling my life purpose. However at some point in early 2023, I was going through some personal issues, so I lacked inspiration (as it sometimes happens) and decided to take a long-term project commission, as I needed to earn some money as well. This project was a bit far to what I honestly love doing, in terms of style and content, but I took it anyway thinking that once I would earn anough I could go back to focus on my own art.
This project started to become more and more demanding, leaving no extra time for me to actually work on things I love. The project kept delaying and delaying to what was supposed to be a three months project. I kept repeating myself, okay, I am almost there, then I can finally shift back to my own projects. This went on for almost a year. During this time, I felt powerless and my inspiration would decrease more and more as time went by. This was also due to the fact that the person that commissioned me, did not leave me enough freedom of expression and constantly drained my energy. Whenever I started to pull out, this person would offer me more money and so I stayed on the project.
Fast forward a year and this project never made it to the outside world. I was left with a black hole, lost passion and sense of lack of direction. I did put aside my art FOR A YEAR. This has never happened to me before. I had to deal with a lot of guilt for allowing that to happen. I had almost ruined my career and my own self worth.
Let me tell you this. There is no amount of money that can equal the power of passion. There is no deal that should tempt artists enough to change direction or to put aside your own light. There is no enough need for money that should make artists shadow their own freedom of expression, it is actually better to earn money in other non-creative ways if anything. Because Creative energy is life energy so we must hold it preciously.
I am now gaining my passion back, and there is only one way to do so: working on things I truly love. Not thinking about what others think, not thinking about succeeding or making money - just DOING what I love. From now on, I am only taking projects that reasonate deeply with my passion and purpose, so if I accept to work for you or collaborate with you, be sure that I am doing so from a true vibration of joy and excitement.
I hope that my story can help and motivate other people to stay strong and committed to their true passion. <3